Playtest Team Six

Playtest Team Six was the first playtest of Trek & Wreck, GMed by Dale. It takes place on earth after the party fronted by The Potted Plant and Hhhehehe the Hedgehog departed to space and went missing for 20 years. In the investigation of what went wrong, Nicolas Cage sent a new recruited group of special agents to Broseph Stylin's former base of operations in Broviet Russia to gather intel and blow up the place while they happen to be in the area.

Characters
Jeb Pebbles, Combat Geologist played by Garrette

Handy Randy played by Ernie

Claymore Banesguard played by Clam

Summary of Events
The party was dropped off half a mile south of the compound, with a few bandages and lunchables, an explosive satchel, and a magic dictionary. After hiking up to it, they circled around until they found a broken vent in the outer wall, but it was guarded by a giant antropomorphic bottle of vodka, which apparently the entire facility was guarded by. To attempt to distract the guard, Jeb approached him claiming he was the sole survivor of a mining party eliminated in a natural gas explosion. The guard offered his sympathies, but professed that he was under very strict orders and could offer no aid. Jeb turned around and began to walk away, but in the process pretended to collapse from weakness in the snow. This broke the guard, and he approached the fallen miner. When he leaned over to investigate, Jeb whipped around and pickaxed him in the heart. Meanwhile, the other party members snuck around to the vent. In the struggle, the guard attempted to flee to the alarm, but Jeb caught up and brought him down with another heart-piercing pick, and knocked him unconscious with a final heartpick.

They carry the bleeding, wounded man to the main door and attempt to get in hoping they could get help for the man without question, but they were shown away at gunpoint, and the man was taken in. They tried the other area again, but the guards had cycled through, and the next guy was on duty.

Randy approached the guard, and found out that he was secretly driving a bulldozer (!?). He still got the jump on the vodka bulldozer-operator by grabbing the gun out of his hands and holding him hostage. Fearing he would try something funny, Jeb bashed him in the heart from behind with the side of his pickaxe. Surrendering, he agreed to take the bulldozer and drive out as far as he can. They advanced through the vent.

In the inside wall, they found a potato patch. Jeb found traces of iron in the vegetables and attempted to extract it, but the potatoes struck back. The potatoes included a nazi, a mage who didn't know magic, a judge, and one had a pet koala. They almost killed Jeb on the spot by curbstomping his ass. Ernie fired off some shots with his AK and Claymore hand-to-handed them, but they decided to flee for Jeb's sake. Cornered, Jeb began to negotiate. Using his geologist charm, he convinced them of his neutrality, and in return for his safety, offered his services to allow them to use the iron in them to advance to potato level 2. Hearing a commotion from outside, presumably attracted by Randy's gunfire, Jeb thought fast. He gave the potatoes the AK and told them to worship it as a totem, and quickly left. They were presumed dead. This marks the first time a player managed to shift blame to a vegetable.

They descended further into the fortress and encountered a hallway. They went into the first room on the right to find aquaman, who warned he would summon a fish if they got any closer. Jeb knocked him out with the axe instantly. Fearing the TV was watching him (it made much more sense at the time), he smashed it, setting off an alarm. Claymore planted an explosive satchel in front of the door as Jeb began to tunnel through the wall. As they broke through to the next wall, they covered the hole with the TV, and they heard the door in the last room open. The explosion killed all of them instantly, including aquaman.

They emerged into the kitchen, where in the cupboard they found Mein Kampf. They saved it for later. And in the fridge, they found a sandwhich, which promptly attacked them. Claymore threw it into the garbage disposal, and Jeb shoved it in with the pickaxe handle. Before they obliterated it, Randy reached into the garbage disposal to pickpocket the sandwhich and found that it had a minigun on its person. They took it before the lunch was obliterated.

They advanced into a room guarded by two vodka bottles. Randy noticed that the first one had a batch of cookies on its person, so Jeb asked for some and got them. "They have brought me nothing but shame", he said. He let them off the hook. They casually creeped over the second, sleeping one, and descended further underground.

They encountered Macho Man Randy Savage in a huge underground wrestling ring, who promptly died of a heart attack. They stopped to pick up the Crystal Star that was on his championship belt.

There they met Horace the Bear, brother of Boris, who has been undercover here for more than a year. He let them know that in the nearby room was the evidence they were searching for.

But before that, they investigated a few other rooms. One was surrounded in propaganda, but careful scrutiny revealed some gravel behind a poster, snatched up by Jeb eagerly. Then they ran from a toilet monster and mowed down zangief with a minigun after stealing his horse.

The Final Room contained the journal of Captain Pikachu, revealing that Hilter's plan in building his rocket was to posess the great mysterious power that lay on the moon, and Stylin's jacking of it was to get to it first, also discussing the captain's manipulation of Stylin' and his son. But then, mysterious-russian-leader burst in. On inspection of his inventory, it was revealed that he had secretly been holding a jeep. It immediately crushed his arm. The fight involved Claymore building a bomb out of a horse, a screw, and a dire flail, and blowing his crippled arm off with it. He was finished off with a pickaxe to the neck. It was revealed that his gun's handle was a deadman trigger, and they ran like hell out of the base, losing Randy to the explosion. RIP.