The Panty Raid

The Panty Raid was a season debut of season two, GMed by Dale on 16/11/2013. In it, a new team of adventurers from LUGFA investigated the strange events occuring in Spooptown, Conneticrep.

Players
Ricky-Dick Marcinco played by Garrett

Crimson Ted played by Clam

Elmer the Lich played by Ernie

Summary of Events
The party, members of LUGFA, were assigned to investigate strange disappearances in Spooptown, Conneticrep, the secret 52nd state whose geographic location in America is ambiguous.

Crimson Ted, a mawile, and Elmer the Lich, the wizard who can only say "My name is Elmer", remain unexplained.

They parachuted in to The Bridge of Death, and no one bothered to attempt crossing the bridge, nor could they extract any information from the bridgekeeper. They departed to the town.

They first entered the office building of Fuckface Enterprises, Spoop Tower the shortest skyscraper in the world, and met the receptionist, Sapn, who doubled as the company dubstep producer. You know, for the powerpoints. Through some incredibly subtle detective work, Elmer asked him what his motivation in life was. It was to burn pantyhose. They then asked where a good place to stay was, and were recommended the hotel.

At the hotel, they met the front desk clerk, Allah. After brief conversation, she attacked the party with a narwhal horn. They quickly overpowered her and called 911, and were responded to by Officer Battletoad, the sole officer in the town. He arrived on the scene and had a discussion with the party where they learned that she has these breakdowns often, and they helped sedate her and bring her to the local police station. He mentioned that if they needed to find him, he would in all likelihood be at the strip club.

In the station, they discussed that prisoners have been disappearing, along with the trend that the people who disappeared seemed to almost want to disappear, often being down on their luck, or consequently in prison. They acquired town police badges, correctly assuming that they would be useful. They put Allah in custody and Battletoad left them to their devices.

They went back to the Hotel and forced open the cash register with the narwhal horn, taking the money from it. They then stopped at the general store and picked up some halloween masks and a screwdriver.

They then investigated the strip club, which they learned previously from Officer Battletoad that it was run by SneepSnoop, an intelligent cloud of gas. They saw Battletoad there, as well as a stripper on duty, Ginger DeCringer, Combat Geologist. Ricky-Dick Marcinco flashed a badge and asked to see his collection of stripper's clothing, and he confiscated a pair of pantyhose. It was weird. The already disgruntled owner was further upset when threatened with a nailgun by Ricky-Dick. They left promptly.

They returned to Spoop Tower and presented Sapn with the pantyhose. The following dialogue then happened: RDM: I'm surprised you never got some yourself. S: Well, I knew where they were, but it's kind of weird to go and get some. RDM: I'm not afraid to get weird. S: ...Are you coming on to me? RDM: I could be if you wanted me to. (Dale discreetly flips a coin for sexuality) Sapn agreed to put in job applications for the party. Ricky-dick then got a call from Officer Battletoad saying that the bank was being robbed by two men, one with a bicycle and one in a jeep. He recognized the bicycle robber to be TheRapist.

They headed to the police armory to pick up weapons, and in it they found a sleeping tusken raider. Ricky-Dick shot him in the leg with a nailgun and kicked him in the head when he woke up, bandaged him up, and took his shitty laser gun.

They went to the bank and found that the second, jeep-driving robber was none other than Myparentsonlykeptmeforthetaxreduction, rapping in french and driving confusedly around the bank wrecking the place. One of the tellers was on fire, and another lept in front of the path of the Jeep. Elmer fired a rifle into the ceiling, and Myparentsonlykeptmeforthetaxreduction surrendered after Crimson Ted ripped out the engine of the jeep with his steel jaws. TheRapist deflected the thrown engine with the back wheel of his bicycle, and was then shot in the leg and lost consciousness. Ricky-Dick ran at him with a nailgun and told him to put his hands up. He put his hands up, but only stopped rapping when he was held at nailgunpoint, and consequently shot when the object he wanted to get from his truck was a pamphlet with a hammer and sickle.